This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
