you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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