Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
