Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
