If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
