none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize