You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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