I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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