i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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