The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
