So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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