Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
