Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Pants are for mortals
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
