Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
