Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
