i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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