We won't sleep together?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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