I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
