is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
