..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If I die, sorry about rent.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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