I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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