did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
