Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize