Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i barfeds in our rink
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
