You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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