we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
