Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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