I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
