At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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