I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
