Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
high people should be assigned attendants
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
