omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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