That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
