Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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