what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
