I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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