I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
