don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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