i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
