Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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