I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize