Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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