What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
