I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
