YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
