Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
