i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
