dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
