WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
