Don't you send me to vm
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
