he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
