I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
