im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Everyone says I win the strip club
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
