In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I need to sanitize my soul.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
