I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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