he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
