Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my mouth tastes like poor choices
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
