Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
