someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
