We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
